it's 1.10 am and i'm nervous and can't sleep and instead of tranquility there are swirls of confusion.

i've tried reading some khalil gibran prose poems, pretty ones, but my concentration is amiss.

this afternoon someone called and asked me what i was doing and i said nothing much, and then it occurred to me how difficult it is to explain to people that you're waiting for some kind of inspirational kick, a phrase or a word maybe, and that if there's none you're doomed to sit in idleness.

i hate the idea of people thinking i'm lazy or deliberately nonproductive.

so... anyone interested in a german ZEIT-article on the Ingeborg-Bachmann-Wettbewerb?