08 July 2007

a typical nightly anxiety attack: i've had another quick look at my story's ending and decided it had to be changed. so i changed it. this took me an hour and a half of staring onto a screen. not my laptop's screen, but some other screen, as i figured a change of perspective could only help. (are you guys getting the irony here?) so now the ending is different, but not really, as in actually it's really only shorter than it used to be. so i got a little insecure about things and checked the beginning once again, too. and, naturally, i decided it had to be changed. so i changed it. this took me far less than an hour and a half, i just deleted letters and words. when i realized that, would i not stop right there and then, i would delete most of my text, i stopped. but now i'm thinking that perhaps i went over the top with my experimentation. i became afraid that people wouldn't be able to see the intent behind a variety of applied writing styles used in one text that may seem thrown together randomly at first sight. so before doing any more damage to the text i thought i should maybe just put it in an envelope and mail it first thing tomorrow morning, but i'm too doubtful. there must be seemingly unimportant details that should be re-worked. they must be detectable, too... only how?

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