(picture taken from postsecret.)

resistance at work

here's an anti-globalization documentary called the fourth world war.
it contains some pretty rough material and may not be suited for everybody to watch.
if you still want to go ahead, i hope you guys are over sixteen and speak some spanish.

...remember, though, that in whatever direction you're moving, VIOLENCE IS NOT THE WAY TO GO!

i'm linking to this just because i want to remind all of us that in some areas of the world, life is far less comfortable than where we live.

ich habe zu meinem eigenen hügel
kakteen gestaut sand seen
verdammte sandseen vor wand
der horizont macht blau
ein halber untergang
und wo du flogst da bin ich
ungenau i am a hill i think
ein hügel bist du auch.

[i'm afraid this doesn't really work in english.... but anyways, here you all go:

i have for my own hill/ dammed cacti sand lakes/ damned sand lakes pre tense/ the horizon skips blue/ half a sun down/ where you flew/ i'm improper a hill think/ a hill you are, too.]

just for shits and giggles, here's the translation google translate gives you when you enter the german original version above:

i had my own hill
sand cacti dammed lakes
damned sandseen front wall
the horizon is blue
among a half
and where you because i am flew
i am a vague hill i think
are you a hill too.

here you can see very well how difficult it is to get a point across. especially parts like der horizont macht blau, which literally means 'the horizon makes blue', but would actually have to be translated 'the horizon skips work'. i went for the mixed-up version and took 'the horizon skips blue' which does kind of make sense in the context of a sunset. ... i'm just thinking that my own translation probably won't make any more sense to you than the generated one ... oh well.

i am totally aware of the fact that i owe you a post

i have started writing a piece for the MDR competition, but it's not coming along very well. i've also done a little thinking about whether i should maybe stay here in london instead of moving back to berlin this summer. it's tricky.

for all you german speaking people

'my' berlin ex-neighbour jens friebe and his brother interviewed by DIE ZEIT.

dances in front of her own works at weddings (if you just happen to have one) - shirana shahbazi

writing about art isn't among the easiest things to do. writing about people, it seems, is much easier. at least when they're drinking german beer and wearing white socks in ocher low shoes. just like it is with red orchids placed in front of a red background, maybe this is one of those moments when an artist goes 'a little bit too far'.

this kind of stuff, i know, is what you want to hear. you want to hear about artists that are fun to look at, because - and that's with all honesty here - many of them don't have much to say. and when i set out to the curve tonight, pushing through london commute, i feared that could have been a mistake. so much the happier i was, when shirana shahbazi opened the night by displaying some of her older work, 'that you haven't seen yet', she assumes. but we have: photography inspired by journalism, photographs of painted photographies, photography knotted into rugs, and a collection of reportage-ish photography she produced for a major swiss insurance company - bewildered by its remote culture.

here, i think, is where the common commentator would build a bridge to her iranian family background/ life/ personality traits, perhaps even.

i, instead, would like to focus on 'remote'. remote, to me, describes her art and style just fine; 'remote' in a delicate, friendly way. 'it's better to have a clear intention about what you are going to do beforehand than having to clarify your artistry verbally after.' so, i ask shirana, does it matter at all whether people understand what you are doing? the attendant crowd catches their breath. shirana, too, seems caught off guard: 'would it sound very bad if i said no to this?' not at all, i find. 'for me it's satisfying when they think my work is beautiful, enjoyable.' and i am taking this earlier statement of hers out of context: 'whether my art gets sold or not, that's none of my business.' i'm not sure whether, at this point, she notices the guy leaning against her 18 meters long wall painting. 'you get a lot more relaxed once you've realized how hopeless it is to talk back [at the industry for pigeon-hole-ing her work as being young, iranian, female, german, swiss, identity-seeking or whatever].' 'i depend on clear thoughts as a starting point for my work, she explains, i need to know: what am i going to do tomorrow?'

'to depict a place far away', she said, was all she intended to do when she flew to iran to work on her degree show. to disclose what it's like if you know such a place very well. in iran, she goes on to explain, people were having a hard time seeing novelty in her photography: 'this is just iranian', she says they would say, 'what makes it so special?' to me, for sure, its beauty.

in case you haven't seen the exhibition at the barbican yet: it's on until 20 january 2008, so only three more days to go. admission is free.

(picture taken from postsecret.)

when i can't write over a longer period of time

i get nervous. my ideas seem callow, i can't find white paper. very uncomfortable.

Ach, ich fühl' es

Ach, ich fühl' es! Keine Tugend
Ist so recht nach meinem Sinn;
Stets befind' ich mich am wohlsten,
Wenn ich damit fertig bin.
Dahingegen so ein Laster,
Ja, das macht mir viel Pläsier;
Und ich hab' die hübschen Sachen
Lieber vor als hinter mir.


Wilhelm Busch (1832-1908)

hardcore cuteness

DIE ZEIT on youth criminality in an alienated german society. very interesting.

next reading in austria

will take place in innsbruck on one of the days between 27 march and 30 march 2008.
more detailed information later, this is just so you know.

packing

just realized i brought my notebook on holiday with me and haven't written a word into it during the past three weeks. that's a bit disappointing. i did write a couple of poems in draft emails, but these are so bad that i don't dare putting them on display here.

there's also the mdr literary price. i'd like to partake and hope i'll come up with something in time - i've become a little unoriented lately when it comes to my writing, i'm afraid.

(picture taken from postsecret.)

oh and

ken has had this poem up on his blog forever
(a month rather), and the more often i read it the better i like it. his kitschy stuff is really cute sometimes.

here's my translation of one of his earlier poems.

poetic deed

i partook here with the poem-version of my story Bärenklau - one that hasn't been published yet, but liked very much by the people who have heard or read it. i tried writing something separate, but wasn't quite happy with any of it. Bärenklau, though, has always been close to my heart; this becomes evident in the english translation i made of it, too. i'm really sorry i can't post it here just yet, as - as usual - the competition entry mustn't be published. instead, as a consolation gift, i'll show you a translation of one of those poems i wrote and discarded.

it's called up above (or should i call it up abaph?):

i’m your affliction
seraph

can you
lathe me

your nine to five
wings aph

they lathe themselves
low where i am.

get tough on arms trade - i have signed up!

"Amnesty, IANSA and Oxfam have just launched a global campaign aiming to stop gun running and control the arms trade - and they need your support now. Simply go to:
http://www.controlarms.org/million_faces/en/index.php/register?s=2751882

I've already signed up and you can see my Face in the Million Faces petition at:
http://www.controlarms.org/million_faces/index.php/photo/id/2751882

Armed violence wrecks lives by fuelling conflict, poverty, and human rights abuses. The campaign is calling for an international Arms Trade Treaty which will make it harder for arms to get into the wrong hands.

Your support will help us to show that people - like you - around the world are outraged by arms trade abuses, and demand tougher arms controls. Act now at:
http://www.controlarms.org/million_faces/en/index.php/register?s=2751882"

happy 2008

when i drove back from germany to switzerland this afternoon, the passing landscape made me think of one of his poems alistair noon read in london a couple of weeks ago. in a passage it described the changing view during a journey across the atlantic, and for a while went SEA. SEA. SEA. and so on. (unfortunately, i couldn't find it online - will have to ask him where it can be found.) well, anyways, this listing style made me think of the following poem. only a first draft, but since i promised to post stuff more often again....


die fahrten
ziehen sich immer
...
strecke kurve wald feld
huegellandschaft dorf
fabrik stadt stadt stadt stadt
ein autobahnkreuz strecke dann
strecke kurve wald feld bald
huegellandschaft dorf dann
[erinnern]
...
zög ich aus dir
das prophetische
sag mir was bliebe
dem weg.

things to make and do

amnesty international has launched a greetings card campaign. it's about sending a card with a friendly greeting or message of solidarity to someone who is in danger or unjustly imprisoned. These are prisoners of conscience, people under sentence of death, human rights defenders under threat because of their work, and others at risk. if you have five spare minutes and a stamp, please take part. (of course, you'd need a greeting card, too.)

should you lack all of the above, try this. many famous people like dido, skin, the beatsteaks, teitur, tomte, slash and green day and so forth have given their faces, so you'll be in good company.

the other day i was given one of those magnetic words sets (complete with a magnetic board) that lets you mix and match poems. here's the first bit that came of it:

I

seufz

die sache ist modern
im warmen wasser
virtuell und populär
vielleicht als abenteuer
TV schicksal ein
extrem gedicht


II

biernatur... verzeih


III

fahr lieber
lau ist der morgen
verrückt fast in
hochform so gut
und absurd
ist das ende.

(picture taken from pictures of walls.)

this is an email i got this morning. all the links mentioned you will find here at codepink alert. however, we should not forget that mrs bhutto, at a point, was accused of corruption, too...

Our hearts and thoughts are with the Pakistani people as they mourn the death of Benazir Bhutto. We extend our deep sorrow to her family and the millions of supporters who for decades have seen the Bhutto family as a source of inspiration. We also extend our condolences to the families of the other Pakistanis who were killed in this heinous crime.

We at CODEPINK were in touch with the former Prime Minister when we were writing our book Stop the Next War Now. In fact, Bhutto graciously contributed an essay that was a plea to counter extremism and "a clash of civilizations that can lead to Armageddon, where there will be no winners on earth."

If Bhutto's death proves anything, it is the utter failure of Musharraf's regime and the utter failure of the Bush administration's policy of supporting Musharraf. Pakistani civil society has long been calling for Musharraf to resign. Now leaders like former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif have added their voice to that call, publicly holding Musharraf responsible for Bhutto's death and demanding he step down.

CODEPINK agrees that Musharraf is the biggest obstacle facing a democratic Pakistan today. He is not capable of either fighting extremists or building a society that respects the rule of law. CODEPINK cofounder Medea Benjamin and activist Tighe Barry recently had a taste of his dictatorial ways when they were kidnapped and carjacked at gunpoint by government agents, and then deported for supporting the pro-democracy movement. Click here for a piece by Medea Benjamin on Bhutto's death.

The US government must use this time to radically change its policy towards Pakistan. The Bush administration has been a staunch supporter of Musharraf, providing his regime with over $10 billion in financial aid since 2001. Musharraf's use of US funds to crack down on the country's democratic forces has led to growing anti-American sentiments among the nation's moderate, secular forces. Please click here to sign our petition calling on the U.S. government to withhold assistance until Musharraf steps down and a caretaker government restores the independent judiciary, lifts restrictions on the press and sets up the conditions for fair elections.

We should also begin to focus our attention on one of the key underlying causes for the growth of extremism in Pakistan: the extreme poverty that persists, especially in the tribal areas where al-Qaeda is most active.

Benazir Bhutto spoke about this in the essay she wrote for our book. Her words were poignant then, and are even more poignant upon her death:

"The neglect of rising poverty against the background of religious extremism can only complicate an already difficult world situation. The war against terrorism is primarily perceived as a war based on the use of force. However, economics has its own force, as does the desperation of families who cannot feed themselves. "Militancy and greed cannot become the defining images of a new century that began with much hope. We must refocus our energy on promoting the values of democracy, accountability, broad-based government, and institutions that can respond to people's very real and very urgent needs."

Whether in Pakistan or in our home countries, we can pay tribute to Benazir Bhutto by dedicating ourselves to building a world based on tolerance, cooperation and fulfilling the urgent needs of the human family-which are the pillars of a more peaceful world.

With sorrow,
Dana, Desiree, Farida, Gael, Gayle, Ileana, Jodie, Medea, Nancy, Rae, and Tighe

for those of you who haven't seen sicko yet

voilà.

≈

vor jahren im traum
saß ich im selben moment
papier = gelb wie hier
jemands satz ... nichts im traum
vor den jahren war anders als jetzt
erst am morgen damals deine nachricht
taucht auf die fehlt jetzt deine
zeichen zwischen all jenen
jemands stets ungesetzt und
vor jahren im traum
meine küsse deine
wassersandhaut auf strand breit
und = gelb wie hier
deine hand ... ich auf dir
in den dünen wars anders als jetzt
hab im traum damals niemands
gedicht übersetzt niemals jemands
geschwätz zwischen unsere zungen
gespült schrieb nie fische ins netz
jener niemande nie jemals
nur auf papier der moment
jenes traums wenn der
morgen vor jahren = jetzt.

"i blog therefore i am"

here's a long german interview on the motivations to blog.
and here's one on the german version of facebook's (studivz's) new general terms and conditions.

embrace

to hold you costs me this:
[opens her arms.]

day jumps, night
- ever clumsily -
just falls.

[stands. opens,
closes arms.]

world saw:
[blank space.]
[probe flaw.]

her arms put forth,
flapped shut.

one thought per year
[escapes.]
the others: not.


dich halten kostet mich:/ [öffnet die arme.]/ tag springt, nacht/ - typisch, ungeschickt -/ bricht.// [steht, öffnet,/ schließt die arme.]// welt sieht:/ [nichts.]/ [fühlerfehler.]// ihre arme ausgestreckt,/ verklappt.// ein gedanke jedes jahr/ [entwischt.]/ die andren: nicht.

miscellaneous

lately i've been spending a lot of time thinking about my thesis topic. while researching i came across some interesting links:

code pink for peace - women for peace
women in black - women stand in silent vigil to protest war
teach first - learning to lead while contributing to a community

good gifts - give gifts that make a difference in a war torn country
toms shoes - for every pair of shoes you buy, a poor kid will be given one, too
peace oil - oil maufactured by jews, arabs, druze and bedouin working together

pledge bank - i'll do it, but only if you'll help
book crossing - send a book on a journey

give-and-takes

i say: then take it. for it's
something's gotta give.
i say: i will. i will while you
will leave. they're saying:
something's gotta give.

i think: i heard receipt. for
is it not that what is given
is to keep? i say: it is. i say:
first give, then go, then see.
something's free to keep.


(i've been feeling bad about not writing, so i've written this, and now i feel bad for having written it, eugh, and how bad. i once read about how only vain idiots publish their bad work. [hang on, have i told you this before?] then again, this blog is to document some sort of a creative process, which, for completeness, should also incorporate the not so productive and brilliant pieces. talk about give-and-take, for fuck's sake. - - - i'm beginning to think that writing is a lot like drawing: once you're out of practice, it will take a minimum of ten attempts to get it right again.)

side note

i think it's fantastic that the International Committee of the Red Cross has finally taken a stand on what's happening in Gaza and the West Bank.

'tanz aus narkose' now online

the swiss online magazine nahaufnahmen published my text tanz aus narkose here, alongside the winner of this year's einseitig competition and selected other participants. since it was a swiss price awarded by a swiss jury and a swiss audience, i guess it doesn't come as much of a surprise that the winning text sounds very swiss, too. in the depths of my heart, i probably just wasn't swiss enough for the whole shebang.... then again, i assume that some of you guys will be happy to finally find the text online?

minky down-ing aka "look out, folks, my daughter strips!" (a line written by stephen gyllenhaal)

in an act of planned, yet utterly delusional bravery, i walked up to stephen gyllenhaal (indeed, jake's father) the other day and handed over an exposé for a movie plus four pages of screenplay. i think at first he thought i wanted his son's number or something, but then he agreed to have a look at the stuff. why don't you direct it yourself, he asked, there are too few women directors out there. i said i thought that was a neat idea, wondering whether that is what all normal l.a. people do.

...so much for my diablo cody moment (see one of the posts below).

then stephen and a couple of british poets read their poetry at the oxfam winter poetry reading 2007, up in marylebone. alistair noon of no man's land (lauter niemand) and bordercrossing berlin, who was reading as well, told me about the event. it was the last one in the series, with many brilliant poets participating.

alistair also showed me a nearby poetry library the next day, which i will definitely become a member of first thing on tuesday.

i just learned that jack sadler, a 21-year-old guy who studied at my department, was killed in afghanistan on my birthday. i didn't know him personally, but friends of mine did. with all things else going on (friends and a parent of friends dying in car crashes, strokes, all sorts of stuff), these really seem to be bad times... it is so weird that life and death go hand in hand.

authors penning to please are in league with the devil for sure

when my 'flood story' was published on der standard's homepage, people made all sorts of comments about it. one of those i still remember said something like this kind of writing serves the writing, not the reading. i think it was meant to be an insult, but i actually find it to be a very valid observation.

it is absolutely legitimate to write for the sake of writing!
especially when, had i written any flatter, i would have been accused of shallowness.
or delusions of commercial grandeur.

i am not quite sure why anybody would want a text fitted to a reading audience, pleasing them instead of making life a little more uncomfortable. i think writers should make life uncomfortable. they should make people think by being uneasy.

(just like that critic, you see.)

envying what other people do

perhaps i should call myself Minky Down and try some stripping instead?

then again, diablo cody says she's 'not precious about writing'... however that worked!!
and here are a couple of trailers, in case you're interested.
and an interview with her here.

(god knows i'm just jealous.)

you wouldn't say happy world AIDS day, would you?

i would like to dedicate this to ann cotten

schreibst du mir was, fragt sie nicht.

re: natürlich. schnüre
bleistift bind ich zu nem päckchen.
mach das fenster auf, sag ich zu ihr
im geist und streck den arm raus.
satzig hängts an unsrem handgelenk
im sonnenlicht, wie kitschig. bilden
uns was ein am end, weil wir so
super mit den lauten können.
lauter, lauter. hundebeine.
spatzenweibchen zwickt mich,
dass ich achselzucken muss.
man fängt das auf für uns,
den textwurm, schweigt sie, als ich
nachsehn will, wie hübsch und
aufopferungsvoll die sätze fallen.

kanns zwar nicht beweisen, grins ich,
hab ihr aber was verfasst.

this is what my short-sighted eyes see when i can't sleep

no man's land impressions

top to bottom, left to right: ann cotten, me, erik esau.
(pictures taken by adrijana bohocki, more are available here.)

just in case you wondered

i am writing still... proof: the poem below this post.

apart from that, i am still working on that longer piece i talked about. still very slowly, too, but i think it could become a good foundation for a (= next year's?) novel project... i'm also thinking about drafting a movie script, but as yet, i haven't gone beyond a very rudimentary storyline idea. also, i haven't yet finished a third short story called Oben [Atop], of which around three pages are missing still. so there's plenty of stuff in the pipeline, waiting to be worked on - besides all those uni assignments, that is.

die verganzte zeit/ ein schneeballwurf/ zwei komma fünf/ meter zu weit/ wir ducken uns/ in unsren stiefeln/ oben oben raben auf/ laternen komma ästen/ ächzen als der ball/ platzt fallen fetzen/ aus versagen auf.

[the entired time/ a snowball throw/ two comma five/ meters too far/ we duck down/ in our boots/ above above the ravens on/ the lanterns comma branches/ groaning when the ball/ bursts falling shreds/ of failure catch the eye.]

(picture taken from pictures of walls.)

apologies

to pamela rußmann at fm4. of course, i didn't mean her article on me was embarrassing, it was just that i didn't know how to react when someone writes such nice things about you.... thanks pamela, i really appreciate it!!!!

stealing over at galore

i was never particularly fond of maria schrader, but she said something interesting in a galore interview recently. when asked about how to combat creative halts, she replied:

i don't know, you just have to hang in there.
or you just have to come up with good ideas faster.

[now that's a great tip, don't you think?! however, she goes on explaining that]

probably every project has its own rhythm.

i think so, too.

lauter niemand on the shelves

third row from top, between Literaturen and Bücher.

great reading, by the way.

nothing's happening, so here's a post on the weather... and my hair

inbetween writing an essay on nationalism & ethnicity, reading on natural resources as causes of conflicts and organizing my trip back home over christmas, i'm packing some clothes and some poems for a weekend in berlin. i'm looking forward to going very much, even though i hear it's really cold and snowing. here in london, we have the nicest weather ever (see picture). my program for berlin is quite full already, mainly with the reading and meeting friends, but i also have an appointment at a hairdresser's on monday, for example. so yeah, i might just get back to you from there.

suche/ biete

umbau aller kontinente.


[seeking/ offering
reconstruction of the continents.]

(picture taken in mexiko by my friend K.)

radio live stream alert

i'm guessing that the interview michaela made with me will be aired on radio kärnten tonight between 8 and 9 pm CET (7 and 8 pm UK time) - click here for a live stream. i think she wanted to feature a couple of readings of mine, too.

Erich Mühsam (1878-1934)

Paar urnische Männlein,
paar lesbische Weiber,
paar Reimer, paar Zoten, paar Schnüffler, paar Schreiber,
Kaffee, Zigaretten, Gefasel, Gegrein -
in summa: ein Literaturverein.




(picture taken from postsecret.)

a couple of pictures from klagenfurt

top to bottom: johannes weinberger reading at the ballhaus, the view from my hotel room, heinz singer michi and jens donner, michaela monschein.

to klagenfurt

ein wilder vogelflügelschlag zur kerosinnacht/ die sich an zehn kilo licht verhebt/ dass die müdigkeit sich/ in die wolkendecke webt/ umdämmerung/ und wie die männer sich/ rolltreppenbreit/ am liebsten quer zu allen sitzen legen/ die turbinen wurstweiß gegen/ möwenschnäbel/ aller antrieb gähnen/ drei raben am rande/ des rollfelds.

showing-off

pamela rußmann @ fm4 is saying a couple of really nice things about me, advertising the event tomorrow...

trip to klagenfurt

i'll be flying to klagenfurt/ austria for this reading very early tomorrow morning. an interview with radio kärnten is also planned, which will air, as far as i know, sometime monday. i'll be back in london by sunday, so i guess i'll just let you know then when you'd have to tune in should you be interested in listening to the show. i'm not sure about www-access during the time of my stay, but i'll definitely put a couple of pictures up once back in the uk. in the meantime, i wish you guys a very nice weekend.

benennung

er innerung
sitzt auf der busbank
strahlt: jacke, gesicht
es innerung
ein und ausgehnacht
lacht: passagier da
sie innerung
passiert hof wird heimweg
laterne gleich jung
gleich ob ver inn ob
irr innerung.

new and very interesting link

guys, check out mike marcus' blog a personal intifada, it's really (and by this i mean: really very) well done. should keep you occupied until i'm coming up with new material.

with regards to my trip to austria from thursday til saturday, i haven't printed out the stuff i plan to read yet, so that's definitely high up on my to-do-list. also, i'm really curios how mischa did at the open mike in berlin...

(picture taken from postsecret.)

this is a bad conscience post

i wish i were writing, so that i had something fresh to put up here...

friendly turns

while my humble self didn't make it into the final round of this year's open mike, my friend mischa strümpel did. he'll be traveling to berlin shortly; naturally, i hope he's going to win the prize and wish him all the success in the world. (the open mike readings will take place at the kulturbrauerei on 3 and 4 november.)

what is more, i'd like to point out that ken yamamoto is looking for some sort of creative writing job or something. if you happen to be in the position to offer one of these, i'm sure he'd be overjoyed if you would get in touch.

i myself have to catch up on loads of reading now that i've spent four days of leisure in frankfurt and mainz with family and friends. most of us have three essays to write for uni until mid december, which will shorten my free time massively from now on - especially with the upcoming reading trips to klagenfurt and berlin in november... but oh, how i'm looking forward to getting out of here again!

unfinished business

die strassen auf links / und kein schneehuhn / jetzt als ob der winter / hängt und wein und gläser / pinselspitzenwelt / der fernsehmaler stellt/ sein hüttchen in die hügel / ...

away for the weekend

guys, i'll be in germany over the weekend. i'll try and keep on posting stuff, but i can't promise... otherwise, see ya next week.

someone doesn't want people to read this

my friend K, who is spending a couple of months in nanjing at the moment, let me know that my blog has been censored in china. i'm not sure whether that applies for the other blogspot blogs, too, but it struck me as being absurd and ridiculous. it is also a great reminder of the fact that freedom of speech and freedom of opinion are values that need to be fought for and defended perpetually. i therefore invite you to sign amnesty international's petition for freedom of expression on the internet. read more about their campaign here or have a look at the Open Network Initiative's global internet filtering map here to see who keeps what from whom.

i have added the campaign's badge to the lower right part of the blog, so that you can see what kind of information has been withheld from people all around the globe. if you click on it, you will be directed to irrepressible.info, where they will tell you from what homepage they took the excerpt and in which country it has been censored.

2nd try, DIE ZEIT article on switzerland

http://www.zeit.de/online/2007/43/schweiz-wahlen

and oh! and look!

the austrian ballhaus came up with a complete program (plus pictures) for 8 november 2007 in klagenfurt... i'll be reading with johannes weinberger, and marcus smaller of 3 feet smaller will be playing music. neat, i'm really looking forward to this!

i was going to post something this morning, but then i didn't, and now i forgot.

i have to read a lot for uni at the moment, mainly on the differences of so-called 'old' and 'new' civil wars, and how their economies work. all that's pretty interesting, but it keeps me from reading for pleasure. thinking back now, what i liked best about working in munich were the ways to and from work, when i had time to read whatever i fancied on the tube. here, my tube rides are too short for that, and i've also started to walk at least a third of each way to and back from uni, just to evade the masses of gray-suited people that fold themselves into the carriages every day.

in the meantime, lauter niemand has put up the biographies and pictures of the authors reading with me in berlin in november. nice!

i have reworked a poem

these may appear to be only minor changes, but jesusnacht (day 157, 27 august 2007) now goes like this:

und ich stricke zwei sterne/ die du dir annähen kannst/ stick dir an die hand kleine/ perlen back dir dieses und/ jenes tamtam in der ferne ich/ fädel dir singsang ins ohr hier/ ein pilgerfährtchen zum ort wo/ du wohnst vors hoftor/ ein hallo nur ein schimmer/ zum gruss nur ein halber halo.

DIE ZEIT finds switzerland is getting normal. (it's quite an interesting read.)

john mayer on creation by way of necessity

to read his full post, just click on the excerpt below.

It's been a long time since the days of my playing small acoustic club dates, and though I'm more than happy (and extremely lucky) to be where I am these days, one thing I've missed is the creative spirit of working without a net. Some of my best songs were written because I had a show nearing and needed more original songs to take the place of covers. It was creation by way of necessity. [...]

I'm going to return to that firefight, taking small late night gigs [...], writing songs and playing them when they're still fresh. The date of the gig is my self-imposed finish line and I will play a new song with each set I perform. [...]

I'm also ready to accept the fact that some people will try and read into the lyrics and make gossip out of them, but I can't worry about that. Trying to avoid that would be the worst thing for my songwriting. I won't let the success I've had make me comfortable, or the media exposure make me fearful of expressing myself. [...]

it's interesting how certain aspects of creative work apply to practically every medium of expression. i'm in need of more current original work at the moment, as well, and even though i don't have gossip magazines speculating on my relationship status, i can very well relate.

also, i've decided to start from scratch in terms of touch typing. i've been wanting to do that for a long time and have been collecting information on classes and stuff around my london neighborhood. typing controlled like this takes ages, but i'll just take it as a meditation or something. n i r v a n a . n i r v a n a. n i r v a n a.

random thoughts

i would be hollering bricks whereas you,
you would sound like that church
in the aisle of which i would pause
and breathe and say: god, i really
like your shirt, you know, let's wrap
that cuteness, baby, let's reciprocate.

reading in berlin

it will be my privilege to read with the following authors at the lauter niemand magazine launch in berlin on 18 november 2007:

ann cotten (i love her poetry, what a pleasure!!!), katarina bendixen, joseph danaghie, katrin heinau and johann reißer.

what else? there's a new cooperation of young german literary magazines. you'll find their project at junge-magazine.de. from what i saw, that page looks pretty good... but what else would you expect, having lauter niemand, edit, bella triste, sprachgebunden and so forth under one roof?

a poem on static warfare or something

this is, like, the fifth version of this poem. i guess my field of study shows through here.

standlauf

vom ein mann zwei mann
turm her: betrachtung
der nebelkörper

schweben marder
feine silberfäden
vors beobachtungsgerät

rasch: kampfwertbestimmung
die jüngste entfernung
bemessen in herzschlägen

[stets]

näher

[stets]

näher als nirgends.

ballhaus all the way

there are two confirmed readings coming up, both of which involve not only myself, obviously, but other authors as well:

08.11.2007 - klagenfurt (austria) - ballhaus.at

18.11.2007 - berlin (germany) - ballhaus ost

as you might have noticed, both locations are called 'ballhaus'. this is a total coincidence.

the latter is organized by my friends from lauter niemand, who will celebrate the launch of their this year's edition.

as yet, neither have officially confirmed their programs, so i will get back to you guys with more detailed information once it's all formalized.

i started writing another short story, too, which is coming along alright. as yet, i haven't quite found the balance between reading for uni, writing and leisure, and am still trying to juggle all this and focus my attention on either one of them at a time.

(picture taken from pictures of walls.)

gardens & castles

i found marcus roloff's GÄRTEN & SCHLÖSSER [GARDENS & CASTLES] on hendrik jackson's lyrikkritik page yesterday night, shortly after i complained about not having found anything i liked to translate recently. so i stayed up late and translated it. i have to admit i wasn't sure about the comma placement, so i just left them where he put them in the german version of the poem.


GARDENS & CASTLES

that it's autumn & light out of heaven by
heaven, when years created creator's
breath is essential is out of the question, falls
when he off & on oozes on screens of the gardens
for instance & castles of potsdam, down-
wards, to end titles, the last roll, and home
going walks through glass walls with
sun pillars & blue prints, on grounds of
one's pockets, filled with streets & spaces, jacobi's
fathergod in one's bags, only soaked
cookies, a life long aide
memoire for hereafter.

it seems my this year's luck with competitions is used up. einseitig has sent me an email today, saying that my text tanz aus narkose didn't make it into the final six (out of a hundred); the upside to this is that i won't have to fly into basel the weekend before our first essays for uni are due in december. also, my poem will still be published in a swiss online magazine called Nahaufnahmen [closeup views]. they couldn't tell me exactly when it would be up, but 'sometime soon'. i'm completely unaware of how many more submissions they've chosen for publication, so let's just wait and see.

my daily a4 page, by the way, has in the meantime become a daily half-a-page. i find that still better than writing nothing at all, though.

as yet, i'm still pretty busy organizing my schedule, making myself comfortable on the tube, trying out shortcuts and stuff. i haven't done any translation work in ages, which i regret, but have only today ordered sylvia plath's collection of short stories called Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams - i'm thinking about translating one of these, this time the other way around, from english to german, just for the fun of it.

i'm on my seventh a4 page, 12 pt, with that longer story. i'm looking at writing as many as possible, ideally 50+. it's gonna be tough re-reading and editing that, though, once i've managed to amass as much text... if at all. but i still want to try, the novel project has not died just yet.

oh, by the way, the location i will be reading at on 8 november is the ballhaus in klagenfurt. come check it out, if you can, the official program of the night is to be released soon.

you're probably wondering why i'm so quiet. well, i've been writing a little, that longer piece i was talking about, just seeing how it goes. there's a concept to it, only a very vague one, so i'm not really confident talking about it here. i haven't been writing any more poetry, either, so there's nothing new to put here, really. sorry for that.

looks like i'll be going to austria again beginning of november. i'll let you know once it's official. besides that, london is pretty great. i enjoy being here, even though it means watching rugby at times. it's actually funny, you know. so yeah, anyways, there's no interesting competitions coming up i would like to partake in, which is good in a way, cause it means that when i'm writing, i'm concentrating on that longer piece.

(picture taken from pictures of walls.)

more drowsy music - NICE!

p.s. go to sleep, B!

here are a couple of pictures of saturday night. i'm pretty sure i've been quoted wrongly, though: i'd never say die einzige Beschäftigung, wo... but whatever.

on my trip back to london i read youth by j. m. coetzee. i liked it, and not only for it's london setting, even though he goes on quite a bit about numerous historic authors i've never heard of before.

the viennese will love me for this

und dieses wien, das viel hellgrauer als das - mein - london ist, das ist kein umgängliches. man trifft hier, von ein, zwei, drei ausnahmen abgesehen, nur wortkarge leute, die sich die lippen beissen. aber t und das glas, davon weiss ich noch, wie das licht durch das fenster und dann durch das bier schien und gelbe quadrate und all die rauten auf jenem kantinentisch. sonst alles steinig hier, viele rillen und endlose fensterzeilen, das ist das wien, das mir bleiben wird, bis ich mal wiederkomme. das und die skateboardfahrer, die sprünge probieren und halbhohe hopser filmen, vielleicht.

[and this vienna, which is way more grey than - my - london, that is unsociable. one meets here, apart from a couple exceptions maybe, just silent people, who bite their lips. but t and his glass, that i'll remember, the light through the window that shone through his beer and threw yellow rhombuses on that tabletop. otherwise everything's stoney here, gouges and endless window lines, this is the vienna that i will remember until i return. that and the practicing skateboard people, who filmed half-high hops, perhaps.]

back from a wicked weekend in austria, i've been trying to get my head around this:

and this: ,

both available here or here, for example.
(ISBN 978-3-902373-28-1)

there are online versions of the text with the standard (kultur -> literatur) and fm4 (see here).

what a great weekend!

connected

i strongly advise everyone interested in WOAW to turn on your radios [windows live stream here // mac users, please download the unofficial fm4 dashboard widget here] tomorrow, saturday 29 september, between 14.00 and 15.00 CET time. this would be 13.00 to 14.00 UK time and something like 22.00 in australia. the show you'll be listening to is called CONNECTED.

i'll be in vienna over the weekend and til late monday night, so posting will continue on tuesday.

habitual writing behaviour

the mean thing about habitually writing at night is that even when i try to go to sleep early, there is always this semi-somnolent moment when imagery and words pop up and i need to get up again to write them down. it's like having to drag yourself out of bed just to pee once more: pretty annoying. so here i am at 23:30 uk time, awake and typing away, when i actually had my lights out two hours ago. i was tired, still am, but now that i've written a half-page already i might as well stick to my new habit of writing one page every day. so far i've been getting ahead rather fine with this, only that it's mostly late night work and i'm not quite sure whether i'll manage to keep that up once my lectures have started... either way, it's a good habit, which would be even better, if it weren't for that charwoman slamming her vacuum cleaner against my door from the outside every morning at seven thirty. or for the fear that no matter how interesting these lectures will get, writing in midnight silence will always be more tantalizing.

ich stopfe die englische nacht in ein glas
über winter die blauen sirenen
der industriebrotstaat da ein auge ein
augenaufschlag man hat uns
in diesen stall und da unten
der wachmann sein blick brüllerei
eine spitalausfahrt drei vier brücken
die tüten das gras das die bauern
dörren halme halbschlaf und
der deckel die decke die winde der wind
sind im glas.

[i cram an english night in a glass/ over winter the sirens all blue/ the industrial bread state there an eye a/ glance they put us up/ in this stable and down there/ that guard his look a howl/ a hospital's drive three four bridges/ a joint the weed that the farmers/ dry blades doze and/ the top the topping the heaver the weather/ are in that glass.]

hmpf.

i just found out i didn't make it into the final twenty of this year's open mike writing competition. now that's a bit of a disappointment, as it also has an effect on my planning to visit frankfurt in early november. personally, though, i liked the story i sent them even better than the one i mailed to the fm4 wortlaut competition. but yeah, whatever, maybe next year.

perhaps i have an idea for a longer text (= novel)... will start writing soon and will see how that goes. have a pretty good feeling about it, i'm even kind of excited.

also, there's the dresdner lyrikpreis on, which is only happening every other year. but i guess i'm not yet good enough to participate, and also the deadline, 30 september, is kind of close. they want 6 t0 10 poems, which seems quite a lot to me, so i really wouldn't even know which ones to choose. i'll see whether i'll be able to decide on some tomorrow, if not, obviously i won't be partaking.

today i went to have a look at my campus library (maughan library) for the first time, and it's beautiful. in fact, i've never used such a time-honored library before. it's exactly what i hoped for, very english and sophisticated. as yet, i haven't decided on any optional courses, but reporting wars remains a favorite. i haven't written anything worthwhile reading since i got here, apart from a poem my flat mates and i came up with while waiting to be enrolled, maybe. it's called POEM ON THIS and goes something like I THINK I HEARD CABLES COLLAPSE/ I DREAD PIPES/ THESE CURTAINS IN/ BLACK BROWN AND RED/ QUEUE FOR THIS/ THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID. so yeah, you guys haven't missed out.

back. ish.

we just had a false fire alarm in the building and after walking down the stairs fourteen stories, waiting outside for fifteen minutes, and walking up ten floors only to hop into an elevator that would take us down to the ground floor again, i figured i might as well make the best of the situation and go online when nobody else would.

so here's one of the first couple of pictures i took in london this week. i haven't been writing much since i got here, mainly because i've been busy organizing things and getting to know my flat mates, which are lovely.

oh, and i decided against sending in that story i wrote for the walter serner price, as i really wasn't happy with it in the end. i'll have to rework it sometime end of this year, when plenty of time will have passed and i'm not as confused about how i want to sound anymore.

Sorry

as yet, there's no www in my room. this will change coming wednesday evening, from then on posting on this blog will continue in more or less regular fashion. until then, i recommend all of you read christian kracht's faserland, it's really good.

an wann [of when]

bin laue nacht bin/ spider ohne mann/ am kellertor/ die waschweibhand/ am brett die reibt die/ spinnt den dreck aufs land/ das liegt lag lang und/ breit die muskelfinger/ ach bin nacht bin/ hab an wen gedacht/ im gang.

[am mild night am/ spider sans man/ at cellar door/ the washer-women's hand/ at board rubs/ yarns the dirt goes rural/ land lies lied and long/ the beefy fingers/ sigh am night am/ thought of someone/ going.]

bye bye berlin

what a grand time we had!

thanks go out to:
lauter niemand (adrijana, clemens, hendrik, ernesto, florian, erik, johannes, jörn, isabel, yaron, andré, ...),
dachbüro (dominik, jockel, valentin, clara, markus, ...), ulla and kilian, felix, ola and paul,
steve and jeanne, obviously,
and everybody everywhere who has been supportive of my writing.

Frage - Nikolaus Lenau

O Menschenherz, was ist dein Glück?
Ein rätselhaft geborner,
Und, kaum gegrüßt, verlorner,
Unwiederholter Augenblick!

(die tiger des zorns sind weiser als die pferde der weisung.)

day 167

writing this story is friggin' torture. i re-arranged and rewrote five out of six pages now (by hand!!), changes which i will still have to key in later tonight. that's ok, though, as i will have a finished draft by tomorrow night, which i can then edit for a third time on saturday. things are going slowly, but surely as usual.

es sommert noch/ da beschlagen die scheiben/ nun wer ist die/ unvernunft und/ wer wirft den/ kiesel hinauf an mein fenster/ den weißen/ es sommert ein klirren noch/ gegen die scheiben.

day 165

i'm at 1'694 words at the moment, page no. 5 of the story. it's tricky this time around, i'm not yet happy with the overall sound of the text. writing, at the moment, is only limited fun. in spite of this, i'll try and stick to my plan of finishing it by friday evening, so that i can let it lie around for a couple more days before sending it in. i've thought about pulling out of the competition as well, but since half of lauter niemand is partaking and i would like to top my time in berlin off with a presentable piece, that's not an option.

day 163/ 164 - zwei wochen südsee

zwei wochen südsee herz aufs meer ein palmblattboot und rosa lichter muschelschloßkapellen kokosgroß und glas in unterwasserdunkelrot und die gesänge herz die trommeln schlagen alle lippensegel alle blütentakelagen flutlichtabschied herz ein hulatanz an vierzehn südseetagen