12 May 2007

day 52 - why i skipped day 51 and what i don't like about my life right now. and what i like, too.

ok, so i didn't post yesterday. ok, so yesterday was a rebellion against myself. instead of writing i dusted. dusted! and, admittedly, watched tv. so i dusted and watched tv. read: broke my very own rules. in fact, i adhered to rule A, though: only frustrated people dust, if not for money. rule B: daytime tv is for dickheads, if not for money. which brings us right to the first point of my list of facts i don't like about my life right now:

1. i don't like that i haven't earned a penny yet with what i've written. it doesn't feel good to just use up resources without increasing the added value, so to say.

2. i don't like having to work at the mercy of my own inspiration. this, in fact, was the reason why i never tried to become an illustrator. at the moment i'd really rather draw, though. funnily enough, i experience a similar problem with writing as i used to when i drew more: what you have there once you're finished just doesn't resemble the idea you had in mind. not the least bit, actually. i'm guessing that's due to a lack of skill. so, in fact

3. i don't like my lack of skill. i don't like that i don't like what i've written. i don't like that i send in material for competition i'm not 100% content with. i don't like competition. but you know that already and i won't go down that road again.

so here's what i like about my life right now:

1. berlin. nice people, space, beautiful appartment, cheap everything.

2. that i'm on the bastard slam list and will get to slam there in june.

3. the prospect of producing some good texts again soon.

4. gurgling cats.

LIKE wins 4:3. ha.

No comments: